14th March 2012


Dear Mr Warren,

There is a certain species of mammal native to the tropical rainforests of Southeast Asia, the male of which can carry as many as 150-200 things. Females are 27 inches (69cm) at the withers. Bred for its long, soft hair, it has semi-retractile claws and a "false thumb" which is really an extension of the wrist bone.

It is a diurnal animal with short, prehensile snouts, and as much as two-thirds of it consists in the contents of its own guts. When captured and held by the tail, it escapes by secreting a fibrous slime which turns into a thick and sticky gel, making all its natural enemies rubbish.




The Abministrator