Next Page

01/12/2013

I don’t give two hoots, if you don’t like poets. It's a means to an end.
I don’t really find this funny, I find me saying it funny. That is that people are opposed to another giving out an admission. Ones own admission of having frailties. I know in myself that not one part of me that admits such frailty is weak. AS it is that part which of me that gets back up after weaker moments. It is not that part of me which loses days in bed. Or hides from a world, which would seem to have no place for them.
You know what I’m not ok, is it ok if I say that. Are in the mear mention of my health shall a see a room of grow men wealt away like attum leaves.
I say we (but I mean we all, but from the centre as being me) we may never be ok. But we get up and face up to that fact each day and try to feel good about that. We excecpt the bleakness of a world full of human and full stops. That part of we the strong part of me.  Walks into the lion’s den. And did this daily for a year and it broke we. Why did it broke me, because that strong part of me had not yet learned how to look after himself by getting help when it was dearly needed. I still cant see how anybody can be accused of being a wimp, after such blind resistence as I be that wimp daily for over a year served people how he was connived hated him. I was veering on going to act on those feeling and actually do something over than writing and draw picture, but I would never, as even the bad in me dosn’t want to hurt people and I even extend that to myself also. but if I was going to I would have then, because I was very desperate. But I can’t be arsed to Wright about that anymore as its pointless.
Well I’ve got some shocking news in a world with no truth, but so many small truer surjestions. I have news in a world where news is only persectives, as the world again has to have no facts are At least for me to surrive in a world fact have to be broken. There will never be more than one interpretation.  being we all have mental health and mental health in its self is becoming an underdressed issue witch is just brushed under carpets.
No objects, once more I only want presective.
Most people, well actually no body is healthily at all. Why is it that it appears to me that, a single person can’t address this without subrogating himself or herself? It is the world of men which seems to blindly stumble in the dark, as what will be seen if my finger slides down that light switch. (your happy, no your not, your just not facing facts) refusal to understand is a greater dogma than the illness which come to I nishist bleak world. But I brave world where you face the fact that maybe you have no future I mean that on a grand scale.

This work you should understand this so please come closer in…….. My tools where taken away from me and I couldn’t make the work I see as my best. I should have stop I would love to tell you all that I just kept going to not give them the satifataction, but that would be a massive lie as I kept making stuff because I’m doomed to be an artist regardless if anybody else want me to be are not, It is what I am and it bring me a lot of grief so back off a little as it’s a curse.
Some of us unfortunate few are just that artist, (regardless of that very title) It is not a job it a manifestation which happen to some people being that they are doomed to make worthless bits of stuff the externalise there fought, we just are compelled.

Say yes anywhos, I had my things taken and I was broken. I got a much needed retreat I found a couple of pens I note pad a sketchpad and I bad old camera. But most importantly I re-bounded myself’s. I became one. I became the tool in centre of my own working pratise. So I became a storey.
If I was to make a comment, I must first lower myself into my work become maybe the canvas itself. I wanted to help people better understand what is actually going on in are heads. I was more than likely completely mad by this point. But it was a pivotal point a clear point. It was the revelation I had too myself that is I was to talk about human sanity I had to explore my insanity. Sorry but becoming a poet was the way that presented itself of doing just that.
Human intelligence seems to be an area where are evolution is far from prefect. Well I don’t believe that at all really, feeling that it is just we don’t send no time at all paying attention to what we have evoled into.
Forgive this very strange example but it works in my head. Proration, do you not think if are races needed to breed like bunny, would we not have evolved to make child birth I lot less of a risk and a pain. A pain I am massively thankful I will never have to experience…….so child birth is an epic task and this is a belief and defiantly not a fact that maybe that is for a reason. Use human are special in the fact that we keep are children close till we die. And it normally happens in that order it is only in unhappy time and unnatural worlds where parrent out live their kids. Know image a mammy rabbit. She has more than likely seen about twelve (I have also just pulled that number from the sky) of her baby die before her so percentage wise she need to have a larger pool of children to grantee that her DNA will survive.
No natural predators are there to come along and keep are numbers down. So inffact we are gifted by the fact that we can have only one partner if we choose to we don’t have to have many, we are gifted to evolution to have family are be able to share are life are at least much more time of are life nurturing the idea of love which is only really there to reinforce that family system for pretentions blah blah. I find that amassing, and my hippy side of myself would say it more along the lines of romance, but I don’t dissargue with that. just pretty mad that I have to take responsibility and keep people away from Stuart. As without me he is to soft and he looses his resolves and falls in love over and over again. He is a nightmare as he even has love for losted friend I’m sure buried knife so deep into are spine. But he says “I get something from them as people I don’t care what they did, there friendship make me feel good.”
Idiot. He’s a fucking soft tart. Can you see why I give him a hard time?
I represent a part of Stuart that cares little for sentiment and in partitlar his  emotions, I am however ruled by the fact that I have greatness. And I can’t let go of hate. But I choose to talk with revergence. I am not that preachy do goodier part of him which preaches to people and surjest that he or I am on an intellectual life and the moral is separate. However that is correct they are separate and I tend to spend most my time in the first box intellect.
I can only manifest myself like this as the whole of Stuart has changed in light to rescent happenings. I am still not a nice guy but I ain’t to angry. More the void in Stuart, as before he used me as storage for all the horrible feeling that he and that preachy do goodier fought would hinder the overall stuart, I of course hate, I hate them for putting me in here. No deals with the crap bar me.
guess how I am, yet
Back to everybody else. Your stupid society is a joke. What you deem as a successful life is a joke. Image please. Yes you dirty old bank that fact that you bought your old hen a new part of tits so you had a symbol of your wealth. trophy. Fucking nod the monument to your wealth is in your old crow chest. Well done well done, I’m slow clapping.
Humans listen to this you have not one clue about balance.
Society society society
I entertain myself by how much of a nob in sound right know. Have your pounds I rather have my penny and a pure pursuit. Ye apparently I am not much of a nice guy, but I hate your world as to succeed you must maim and kill, or maybe not as dramatic as that but you back stab for a quid. Or make someone work a 72hrs a week for penny’s, to elevate you. Working a full week to get pist and show your moustache’s and shoes and jackets to your equally blind pram pushing hummus feeding numpty mates while you go to art shows to surjest that your not a bush of chimpanzees. Then no weekend is done until you take your arm-full of babys to the local and forget about them after you have force fed the a ton weight in humus, so they cant move while you get filleted by your best mate big titted wife, and make joke about your own big titted wife caller her a baby maker.
Ye im the scumbag to right stay away.
 But at least I can say the women I want to walk beside me have stirred me, and I brief note to anyone the only reason I say woman is because I’ve only ever felt that way about woman only, but it doesn’t matter as I find notion of sexuality as just another box for people to put you in and unlimtly define you also, as I don’t see sexuality as I finite thing anyways. I just know what I want, but do I want to sit in the straight cramp and look out at the gay camp and keep my distance. I use sex but I could replace that with belief, skin colour. One very close to my heart class.
And I have become sick to my eye balls with the stereo types of sexuality’s, they do cause harm as its like religion like we respect each other but we stay in are own camp. I’m not saying you should are should not swing which ever way the wind goes, as in honesty I don’t, what I’m fucking saying is I don’t want to have to deferencerate between myself and over people for reason which are force upon us. Stop fucking giving to crap defining each other, as your losing what is important and that the is the person.
But I live alone and download nuts mag on my phone just for the picture and in that I fuel a view of woman I don’t have want to publicly fuel and fund, because I wish I didn’t right know, but I do have a sexuality myself. And as that part of me dose look at woman like bit of flesh. It is in I, masochists, but that is equal to the part of me which is a male feminist, and has woman helded up in my world as role model’s,
paradoxical self that is what this is all about, I’m one thing one second another the next and untimely I an one person. Making up characters to explore parts of ideas trying to understand the vast unaware minds in its complexities.
But I do have one card up mysleeve now, I went to my limts. I pushed so far and unlike all else I have a clear understand of what I am capapabliltys. I learnt control are Even bad me isn’t that bad. Just loud.
Please
Truth is everybody on the break of sucicide, so we have lied to each other, example of this is the internet, the miss us we have to celebrate the lie we tell are self’s to never deal with the fact that in fact we are very far from happy.
Ha ha I not unhappy anymore, as the emptiness is just not that big a deal
Right
Popularity is a game I bitterly lose, because I am a loud mouth heaven how can’t handle his drink. Well I also lost as no one told me it was a competition and I don’t want to be a competitor and the unless I know I’m going to win I don’t want to be in it. as if I lose I have to face up to the fact that the narcissism in unfounded.
Well that and popularity isn’t important, and I fought people past 22 should know that.
Ok I might not be as clever as I surjest, but I am clever enough to get comparison with geniuses. Soooooooo, Stop try to belittle me by comparing me to greats, as it only reinforces my ego.
I found profundity in outsiderness which give me conviction which I crave, and whole heartily enjoy having.
Too this work I’m having to spell this our to you, as I am finding people have missed the point, the point being that exploration has happened and maybe you did get it and did not want to say that you did.  It happen threw words deal with it. I never act, I just use what emotion and thought was there and actualised it. So I was just articulating emotions. Sorry if it was negative but at the time that’s where I was are the most vocal of me was and that was the most readily to me to digest into.
I find myself very annoying.
Oh dear kind sirs, I am thankful to have been allowed to paint your wall and ceilings free of charge.
Hell I keep on giving these hopeless offering,
You have to understand that in my mind I was giving offering. I ended up getting crucified for these actions. This is my life the sad fucking joke that it is, my ego has me being like this promepusus type guy bring down these insights and getting hung out daily for doing it. But the painful truth is I am an artist and it is what I do.
Stop your fucking judging.
As this part of me feel he is beyond you and is just argue that you all could be seen and understood to be morons.
Yes that is narracusic but I feel like I rip chunks out of my flesh to make my work for you all. My work really and humanly is an attempt of a honest display in a crocked world.
What your problem???????
Again yes The same as everybody I have narcissus moments, and drive (I do not have a personality disorder) my wish and desieure to put this out for the public to eat upon. Let look inward and see what your own narcissusic drive compels you into doing, and ill be argoant right there.
Sorry this is a mirror of us all, you looking at it yourselves and uncomfortable as you are that’s not down to me that is you. Mainly I really don’t have your notions falling throw my head are I would repress this deep down and know I am open to possibility and ideas, or maybe I just don’t feel your prejudices  (I don’t care, if you agree are don’t anymore).  I’m just a mirror showing what you don’t like, I’m a just questions. So maybe I question what you don’t like to answer. But if you do want answers look inward, as you all refused are offer of help.

This is yours
From and very very very sincerely from the devil that resided in
Stuart Mel Wilson

Next page

Back