The end part 2

But I am again thinking of the I I am.
But have I give you all your grandness
Beyonders
Maybe I will like to put it in the notion that artist are but muses. Not to be confused of she that will forever remain my muse.
How is it between us, to me it makes no differentness.
Dose she knows who she is, yes I have told her. Then I left. Her distain to me whole comprises of high highly I think of her. I confess to the fact that these ideas of another could be dangerous in a certain persons mind. Maybe in my mind too. But I leave well enough alone.
The kind of ideas of destiny. I have also learnt we are not meant to encourage these feelings when they are unrequited. I do not expect anything to ever come from much thinking, as I know it is not reciprocated well. But I will not stop thinking of her in any other way I refuse.
Where should I keep such feelings, as I know I’m not a danger but to be open about such fraught is thought to be a danger? Maybe it the idea of she that keep me safe from loving another. As even she doesn’t live out to the she, she is in my mind. I’m not in her life are life have crossed, would I wish to be in her life once more yes. But I’m also ok with the fact that maybe I never will be in her world.
I would also keep her distant at this time, as this is my best way to protect people by staying away. What moment I have seen of her I am very proud that she lives up to my high expectation, I also wish her happiness beyond which I offer.
More into this I hope she finds her true worthy champion, as lets face it I’m on fight which would destroy any love. So I removed that aspect of my life about 2 years ago.
But I feel everybody should find someone to walk the earth with. The heart would fall if I were to believe her to be alone and unloved. I would if it was needed scarcer the earth to find the man for her, as even though my heart would break with glories emotions, I could still smile that I in someway could make her happy.
As this person is perfect and so to I want her life to be.
The funny thing I find in this, I know many will think I’m talking about them and I’m not. This part is my most painful truth that there has be loves, but there has only ever been one of her, I must say sorry to other how try to fill that place and could not, There nothing wrong with you I just give that part away and it belongs to her.
So I’m not the kind of muse like that, I’m the kind of muse how drops you hints and clues, to try and help other creative an understanding of this world for them. I have no right to be doing this also but me doing it
So I must leave, how to do this. Purely is to come back. But I am unsure of my path. And my footing is unsure. I no long can see my moments and my life and the path is no longer a path.
But I know that it has to be done, and you are still the beyonders, who I do it for. I no longer have a right to own a thing once I seem fit to offer it.

Next page

Back